Community of the Living Sacrifice - Christian Advaita

Community of the Living Sacrifice

I recalled the story of Sri Ramana; how he had gone off to the attic of his dwelling at an early age, had laid down and had a vision of his own death. This was his moment of realization, and afterward he spent months sitting silently alone until insects ate at his flesh. After a while, and after he had gathered a bit of a following, he began to teach and a great ashram came to be built in his name. Maharaj stated simply that his Guru told him that he was the Absolute, and he believed him. In Maharaj's definitive work I Am That , he is asked about his realization:

“Questioner: Kindly tell us how you realized.

Maharaj: I met my Guru when I was 34 and realized by 37.

Q: What happened? What was the change?

M: Pleasure and pain lost their sway over me. I was free from desire and fear. I found myself full, needing nothing. I saw that in the ocean of pure awareness, on the surface of the universal consciousness, the numberless waves of the phenomenal worlds arise and subside biginninglessly and endlessly. As consciousness, they are all me. As events they are all mine. There is a mysterious power that looks after them. That power is awareness, Self, Life, God, whatever name you give it. It is the foundation, the ultimate support of all that is, just like gold is the basis of all gold jewelry. And it is so intimately ours! Abstract the name and shape from the jewelry and the gold becomes obvious. Be free of name and form and of the desires and fears they create, then what remains?”

These, and others, were the visions I had of realization, and it was much anticipated, which, no doubt delayed it's happening, just as too much thought and imagination is damaging to Christian Contemplation.

During the time I was going through this; this transition from "known Christian" to what ever evolved next, the big problem, the big question, was about love. Christianity was about love as far as I could see. God loved me. I loved God. Christ said "God is love". What could be more simple or straightforward then that? Advaita, on the other hand, called for extreme non-dualism. How could I love another, when the existence of another is not accepted? My Christian practice had involved worship, and worship by definition requires a worshiper and that being worshipped. Duality! In one of my favorite little books; The Avadhuta Gita of Dattatreya is a verse that states this very well:

“How shall I salute the formless Being, indivisible, auspicious, and immutable, who fills all this with His Self and also fills the self with His Self?”

The answer to this nagging question in my mind; this question about love, was soon to come and with it; realization.

As I said before, I am currently working as a maintenance person for an apartment building. I was also working as a maintenance person when I was led to direct and personal experience of the one reality. I had never looked at being a maintenance man as being any less a position to become aware from then any other position. I even felt this as a monk. After all, Jesus was a carpenter, and Maharaj was a tobacconist. While on a break from work, I was sitting in the truck watching clouds on a winter afternoon. It had been raining and the clouds were magnificent. They were so marvelous that I was overwhelmed and tears filled my eyes. I once again thought: “How can I feel this way; this deep sense of love, this deep compassion without there being two?” And then, all at once, it came to me that I am this love; that there was no need for an imaginary me or an imaginary god. There was just this connecting force, this love, and that I was that. I knew at once this was it. It seemed almost silly, and I loved it for that. As a Christian, I had always felt a kin to the "simple strivers"; Therese of Lisieux, Brother Lawrence of the Resurrection, and the like. Saints who, through simple lives, built simple spiritualities. Here I was, no Ramana, no Maharaj, but still one with them. Through the simplicity of a cloud, I saw who I was. After years of Christian contemplation and attempting a life of devotion to spirituality and truth the answer came in a cloud, and I felt compassion for all going through what I wandered through, and hoped to, one day write it down; the simplicity of it, and the overwhelming love. The Church puts many frightening roadblocks in the way of any one trying to go through a search for truth in the church, something that I will attempt to cover in the next chapter. Those roadblocks, and the pain they cause, are the main reasons for this work. The clouds know my Qualifications.

Christian Advaita—Continued

Brother Lawrence

of the

Resurrection

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